Bill, the Galactic Hero on the Planet of Zombie Vampires by Harry Harrison & Jack C. Haldeman II

Author:Harry Harrison & Jack C. Haldeman, II [Harrison, Harry & Haldeman, Jack C. II]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780575049826
Amazon: 038075665X
Publisher: Gollancz
Published: 1991-03-25T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 11

"I believe that it is fairly safe to say we're not dealing with a vegetarian here," said Caine, examining the remains of the alien with his pocket electronic magnifying microscope and throat spray. "These are the sharpest teeth I've ever seen."

"You saved my life," said Bruiser, giving Bill a bone-crushing bear hug. "I owe you one."

"Gasp," gasped Bill. "Gasp."

"You good guy. So I go with you back down into dat dark place to get my Slasher."

"Thanks," croaked Bill.

"I would not advise returning to the station," advised Caine. "Much less paying a visit to the basement. It could be quite hazardous."

"But we need supplies from there or we won't be able to get off this crappy planet," cried Uhuru. "Somebody's got to go back."

"That somebody is not going to be me," moaned Tootsie.

"Quit all that moaning, Tootsie," Rambette commanded sneeringly. "It's getting on my nerves."

"Would you rather I whined?" she whined.

"No, go back to moaning," shuddered Rambette. "Whining drives me up the wall. Moaning just gets on my nerves."

"Back off a little," said Uhuru. "We're all under a great deal of stress. Everybody would feel a lot better if we all took a brief time-out to get our alpha rhythms in order. Let's just stop and smell the roses."

"Shove your alpha rhythms," snapped Rambette. "I don't believe in that ancient new age stuff."

"I don't know about anybody else," muttered Bill, "but I could use some sleep."

"Sleep?" screeched Uhuru. "How can you think of sleep at a time like this?"

"Easy," yawned Bill. "Have you noticed that none of us have had any sleep since we landed on this planet? How long have we been here? Weeks?"

"More like days," yawned Tootsie. "Long enough. Too long."

"You got it in one," said Bill. "And the latrine. I haven't noticed anybody trotting off to the head either."

"Something wrong with your nose?" Rambette sniffed. "I wouldn't go there for anything. The compost pile smells better than that place."

"I been twice," belched Bruiser. "No problem."

"You humans had better get some rest," suggested Caine. "I will stay awake examining what remains of the squashed creature."

"What if the alien vampires come up and suck us dry while we sleep?" Tootsie shuddered. "I don't want to be turned into a mummy or a zombie, not even a troll."

"I will keep watch," said Caine. "Androids do not need sleep in the sense that humans do. We doze a little while our batteries are recharging, but that's all."

"How are your batteries?" asked Uhuru anxiously.

"My batteries are fine, thank you," said Caine testily. "I suggest you all retire to your bunks and catch up with what you call sack-time. I will keep watch for the vampire aliens."

"Did anyone close the door to the docking tube?" asked Uhuru. "We don't need any more of those alien creatures in the ship."

"Larry did," said Curly or Moe. "I saw him myself."

"I guess it's okay, then," said Uhuru. "But I'm leaving a night-light on, and I'm sleeping in my spacesuit."

"Big coward," said Bruiser. "Come, Bill. Get stinking dog and let's go.

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